He Will Always Be Broken
by The Tox
Summary: Lithuania is scared of intimacy due to the way Russia treated him, but Poland has been surprisingly patient all the time they've been dating. Maybe Valentine's Day is the day when Lithuania can finally move on and heal? Lithania x Poland, Yaoi


It's starting to get late, so you think about going to bed. After closing your book and putting it down on the bedside table you go to brush your teeth, but then the phone calls, and you guess that it's him, because who else calls you at 12 on a Sunday night? You pick up the phone a bit begrudgingly; whenever he calls it means you're agreeing to a two hour at minimum chat when you answer. But you don't have it in you to _not_ answer, and you have been missing the sound of his voice a bit. It's been so lonely lately, and whether you like it or not he is your best friend.

So you answer the phone, but before you can say anything he speaks as usual. "Liet, Liet!" he exclaims happily. "Good, you picked up! I was worried, like, Russia visited or something. What took you so long?" Because he mentioned Russia you can feel the scars on your back burn slightly, and you wince, not wanting to think about that man at all. As always, he, your "best friend", is so tactless. But with tact, he wouldn't be Poland now, would he?

You can only reply that you didn't take long answering, because that's the truth. Unlike him, and most people probably, you don't have your cell phone in your pocket available at all time.

"Well, anyway", he says. "Listen, listen, you know what day it is tomorrow?" You do know, but if you say so, he will probably be mad you didn't call first. So you reply that it's the 14th February, correctly but wrong at the same time. "Liet! It's totally Valentine's day tomorrow. How could you now know? Like, shame on you", he giggles. "I bet your face is funny know, haha. Do you feel stupid for not knowing, Liet?" Not really, you think, but reply "a bit" to satisfy him. Perhaps the years with Russia has turned you into a masochist? Why else would you so willingly let him taunt you for something that is wrong?

Because he is Poland, you think. That's the answer.

"Anyway", he says. "Aren't you going to, like, ask me out? I mean, it's Valentine's Day. Come on!" So you sigh inwardly, but before you can ask him he starts to talk again. "Oh my god, don't say you are going out with Belarus! Liet! Come on, you can't go out with her, she's like totally nuts. I can totally pull off her dress better anyway, cancel it right now! I won't allow it."

When you're finally given time to reply you can say that you have no date planned, and you ask him out, because that's what he wants. He asks as if he's surprised you asked, and teases you for it, before deciding you will go to Warsaw in the morrow. He then starts talking about something completely trivial, and you may or may not hear him say that he'll dress like a school girl – or was it maid – tomorrow? You have to admit, he does look rather good in drag, and since you're bisexual it doesn't really matter to you, but if he puts on those bunny ears again in public you just know the two of you won't be able to enjoy a nice date. So you plead him to dress normally, saying that you want to see him in his black jeans because, as you add nervously, they're really sexy on him. It works, and you can hear how his voice pitches when he replies that he'll wear them how flattered he is.

He is so used to praising himself that whenever you praise him he pretends like it doesn't matter, but you both know that it does. That is _totally_ does.

It's rather amazing, you muse as he blabs about some incident at a mall in Milano when he was visiting Italy, how he can have such an in-your-face attitude and attires, yet act so shy in front of strangers. You think it's one of his better sides; somehow you like it when he blushes and hides behind you in front of someone new; because that is when you feel needed. It's not that you feel useless at other times, but especially when he hides behind you like that, you feel like you are necessary to him. It is no doubt such a nice feeling, to know that the clingy drama queen Poland needs you. A smug part of you think that since you are the only one who would let him act so selfish and spoiled you are also the only one he'll really love back. You don't say this, but sometimes you can't help but think it. Years after codependence has made you appreciate it when others come to cling to you, especially when these others might be stronger in their own.

Finally you hear him yawn, so you can convince him to get some sleep so he'll be rested up for your visit. He loves it when you talk to him like that, because he thinks it's embarrassing for you, and he's quite right. You really are a masochist, you think again after he hangs up after only blabbing for 100 minutes.

After you brush your teeth you get into the bed to sleep, but you lie awake for a longer while since you are thinking about tomorrow, and him. You don't know if you're a couple or not; you have dated many times and made out on several occasions, getting close to sex at some more, but somehow calling him your boyfriend feels wrong. Not that you don't want to; you are quite certain you are in love with him after all; you show all the symptoms. But the insecure part of you think it's too early to call him your boyfriend, because you haven't been intimate yet, and when you've spoken to others, sex is always what they consider to be a vital point of a relationship.

But you're not a virgin. Russia made sure of that years before, and perhaps that is why you have a problem with getting intimate with Poland. Your past experiences with sex are not positive, and even though you haven't told him that, you think that he knows. For a person who takes nothing seriously, not even an invasion, he has surely been very understanding on that point, you think. Recalling a few months back after you went on a date with him, you remember kissing him tenderly and him holding you so lovingly, eventually leaning over you until you lay under him on the bed, your scarred back hitting the sheets and suddenly, even though his lips were so warm compared to Russia's, when he kissed your neck you flashed back to _him_ and shoved Poland away. Then you remember crying, and apologizing to Poland, who instead of mocking you or anything of the kind simply just kissed your forehead and started talking about something that happened when he was out with his pony, making you forget about Russia again.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. You feel pressured, because somehow you are certain he wants to take the final step in your relationship, and you fear that you're not ready; that you'll never be ready. Whenever he has kissed you, you feel safe, and when he hugs you, you feel happy, but when the heat starts building up, and things feel like they are spiraling out of control you, you only feel scared. And you are sure that it hurts him too.

Eventually, you're able to fall asleep, and you have a nightmare where Russia is in a bad mood, and has his way with _him_.

xXx

When you arrive in Warsaw the next day you are happy to see that he manages to stand out and look stunning, without wearing something outrageous. He is wearing the black jeans you suggested and a white coat over it with a black belt in his waist. Around his neck is a pink scarf with darker pink hearts decorating it. Sure, he looks a bit feminine, but fashionable no less so you are sure no one will raise an eyebrow at him when they hear him speak and realize he is male indeed.

As he sees you he hurries over and throws himself at you, so you're forced to catch him. Luckily he weighs little, so you don't fall down and hit the station floor. He kisses your cheek and takes your hand, pulling you out of the train station to the cold and snowy February day of Warsaw so that you can walk with him. He says he wants to catch a movie, and since you can speak Polish you agree to see one in his mother tongue. It's actually rather good you find as you have your arm around him in the movie theatre, with his hand on your thigh. You don't make any other move, but you both really enjoy the closeness, and you feel that perhaps today is the day.

After the movie is over he says that "Liet, I so want some hot chocolate not. You like totally have to buy me some, oh, and I know this new café, it's like kinda expensive but it has the best hot chocolate in Warsaw, and probably in Lithuania too". As he rambles, you allow yourself to be led to the café he seems to admire so much, where you order peach mazurka for the two of you, and hot chocolate to him but black coffee to you, even though he insists you order chocolate too. He doesn't know this, but coffee is what makes you able to function when he goes out his way to rant about himself or something he did.

As you sit in the café and drink your hot drinks he takes off his coat again, and since you're not in a dark movie theatre now you can see what he wears under it. It's a white shirt frilly shirt with a loose black ribbon, and it's also the shirt he wore 10 years ago on your first date. You wonder if he realizes this or not, but it simply can't be a coincidence.

It's been 10 years you realize. Your relationship really has moved slowly, and again you feel guilty. It's amazing that he hasn't tired with you, the way he normally gets bored when he had to wait more than ten minutes for whatever it is that he wants. Perhaps he doesn't want you.

"You know, you must taste this, it's like the best hot chocolate in Warsaw", he says again, snapping you out of your thoughts. He hands you the chocolate you almost reluctantly accept, but when you taste it you have to admit; it's quite good. So much so that you agree to buy him a second cup once he's done.

Halfway through his second cup, when you're finished with your coffee and the mazurka already, he makes a pouty expression. "Liet, you like haven't said anything about my shirt", he says sourly, as if he just noticed this. "Don't you remember?" It seems like you forgot to tell him.

"Oh, yes, I noticed, I'm sorry", you say, and acknowledge out loud that it's the same he wore as before. Even though you reminded him he doesn't seem to take it badly; instead he smiles, proud that you remembered. After that you leave the café to get out in the cold again, holding hands as before. His girly ways; from the scarf to the hair to the way he walks to the way he talks are sometimes convenient, like now. When you walk together people will assume that he's a girl, and thus you don't get stared at as if you were both boys holding hands. The strangers think you are out with your girlfriend, so their homophobic tendencies remain hidden. You are happy that is so, because you have both experienced homophobia quite vividly during the years you've spent side by side.

After the café he says he wants to go shopping, and tells you that you can carry his bags as usual. You're not like those stereotypical men in movies and commercials, who think of it as a chore when their partner forces them to carry their bags. As stated before, perhaps you're a bit masochistic, but you do like it when he drags you around and talk so vividly, so passionately, to you about such nonsense. It's endearing, even if tiresome, but you pride yourself as the only person who would like being with him when he goes on a shopping spree – save for his occasional shopping partner Italy of course. Even then, Italy is somewhat retarded, you can't help but think.

As usual he shops in the girl section, because apparently he's low on sweaters for the moment, so he drags you with him into stores with lousy pop music you know to your dismay that he listens to and have you carry stocks of clothes as he try them on, including a few short skirts. It should be illegal for a man to have such smooth and sexy legs, you think as he shows them off, but again, as you are bisexual you know you cannot really complain. As long as the others in the store assume he's female everything is cool with you.

The shopping spree lasts for three hours until you make a short stop at his place to discard of the clothes before heading out again to a restaurant. He says he wants you to choose where to dine, which he has never done before, but as he says "It's like, Valentine, so I don't want to take you someplace you don't like Liet". He is even blushing slightly, before slapping your behind and telling you to pick a place already. And for once, a slap on your butt does not remind you of Russia, but only makes your face hot – you're in public after all – and you ask him to not do that again. Outside.

The restaurant you choose is located in the Old Town of Warsaw and is called Restauracja Staromiejska, and it's posh, and apparently you have to make a reservation beforehand, but you're allowed inside because of _him_, luckily. The food is delicious and the two of you have a toast for a successful Valentine's Day date. On the way back it is snowing and you're holding hands again as you walk to his apartment together. That you're spending the night there is a giveaway; you have your own room at his place even, just as he has one at yours.

As you approach his home he speaks while looking down, and you can see how he is blushing as you look down on him. "Liet, today has been like, totally the best", he says as if today is over already. "Really, I've had a blast." You can only reply that it's the same for you, and you give him a gentle side hug. "You're coming upstairs?" he teases as you stop outside of the apartment building. And of course you do follow him there, and you find yourself kissing him outside of his door as he tries to fish up his keys from his pocket. Something is possessing you, as you push him up against the door and make out passionately, kissing him with a strangely secure tongue and a firm grip on his shoulders. He wonders what has gotten into you, but certainly doesn't mind as he pushes back against you and returns the hot kiss. As the kiss end he has the keys in his hand, and winks at you as he lets the two of you inside. He takes off his shoes and leans in to whisper into your ear that he has been waiting for this for so long, before he runs into the bedroom where you join him after taking off your shoes as well.

In the bedroom he has already taken off his pants, showing those sexy legs again and making an innocent pouty expression as he waits for you. You feel secure for a change – whatever has gotten into you is a good thing – and you strip out of your shirt before jumping onto the bed and tackling him down on it, kissing his hot mouth and pinning him down. This thing you have now, control, you like it. You control the kiss, and you control him.

You pull out the loose ribbon around his neck, and ties it around his wrists behind his back while he's busy kissing you. He moans softly, almost as if he's whining, no doubt wondering why you're tying his hands together. But he doesn't complain, and his face is just as flushed as yours. You can't help but kiss him again and again while you unbutton his shirt so that his slim chest is exposed. It's yours; he's yours, you think possessively for a while as you run your hand over it making him gasp and moan "Liet" so softly.

Now you take off his underwear, as if you couldn't see his erection before it, and his lovely green eyes are filled with lust as he watches you. "Come on, Liet", he moans softly before you grab the cock and start stroking it, making him arch his body. You realize that he is probably a virgin still, and somehow this fact pleases you, and encourages you to stroke him quicker. You are getting hotter as you watch him near an orgasm in his restraint, and you let him come just as you catch his lips in another passionate kiss. He moans into your mouth as his semen is spilled on your hand. Dirtily you wipe it off on his slim chest, causing him to wince but never the less smile; it must turn him on just as much as it does you. He looks really beautiful with his face flushed, shirt open and otherwise naked body, with his hands tied behind his back and semen smeared over his torso. The scene, and his voice, has made you painfully hard as well so you take off your pants too. He really is a virgin, you realize when you see his eyes widen at your erection.

He's not scared, though. The cock is not a stranger, just an old acquaintance he hasn't met in many years who has grown considerably since last time. It's almost a shame his hands are tied, so he cannot touch it, but he has a better idea. "Liet, like, you want me t-to", he starts, breathing hard still recovering from the orgasm. "Suck you off?" You want him to; that would be a first for you, so you sit next to him on the bed so he can roll around and lie between your legs, facing your cock. He is hesitant, and you can't blame him, but then he licks it teasingly like a popsicle. You know him well enough to tell by the face he makes that he finds the taste strange, but still he gives it another lick, and another one, and you feel how it gets harder to breath. Then he starts kissing the length, and taking the tip in his mouth, sucking hard and seemingly doing his best for your pleasure. You stroke his golden hair as you pant, feeling an orgasm close by, just as you see his cock hardening again. You also see his butt, so perky and sexy, which screams for you to make love to him. So you stop his actions, and as he whines, you give him another kiss and ask him to lie on his back again. He does so, and you position yourself between his legs. Perhaps you need lube, but neither you nor he thinks about that, being so in love and in lust with each other.

He nods to you when you look at him for approval. "Liet", he moans again, so eager. He must have fantasized about this many times, so you decide to make his dreams come true as you push into him. He winces, but doesn't complain. It's a different Poland in bed, because the normal Poland would probably yell at him and say that it hurt. This Poland breaths heavily only, and gives you a look which tells you to start moving. So you pull out, only to push back inside to hear him moan. It's your first time doing it like this, and you immediately find yourself liking this position very much. You start thrusting, and since you've already struck his prostate, know that he doesn't mind. Hearing him moan Liet is such a lovely thing, so you reward him by moaning "Poland" as well, and stroke his cock as much as you can while focusing on the thrusting. You are nearing an orgasm now, and so is he – again. You recognize his shut eyes and how he has trouble breathing, just like you do. With a few more thrusts into him he comes again with a beautiful and long "ah" escaping his lips, followed by your accidental release inside of him, accompanied by an exaggerated "oh" you cannot help.

Soon you pull out of him, after you've both recovered, and you untie his sore wrists. He doesn't whine now, although you're sure he will tomorrow, but only kisses you deeply and lay in your arms, breathing against your chest.

"I really, like, wanted you to be my first Liet", he murmurs against you happily. "Didn't know you were totally into bondage though. We can buy some things tomorrow if you'd like, I don't mind", he giggles and kisses your chest. That's when you realize something horrible; you've turned into Russia. The first time, he had only tied your arms, but things escalated quickly into the role plays, and the whips, the pads, the-

"What you're thinking about?" he asks you and looks up, seeing that you're deep into your thoughts. "Liet?"

"I'm sorry", you say, with your voice terrified. You have taken advantage of Poland just like Russia once did you, and you didn't use lube, or a condom, and you're a monster, and you're-

"What for?" he asks and plants a kiss on your lips. "You didn't like it?" he sounds hurt.

"I did, but I shouldn't have", you say. You realize that you have to explain to him, so you give him the short version, about Russia's games, his punishments and his delusion that they were lovers. But instead of shoving you away, Poland shakes his head and pouts. "That's like totally different", he whines. "This is consensual. I like, love you y'know."

The thoughts of Russia disappear from your head. Perhaps for forever. Poland loves you, and he kisses you again, and you kiss him back, holding him tight. You say that you love him too, and he says that he loves you more, and then you kiss again. You fall asleep almost instantly after you go to bed tonight, in each other's arms of course.

This Valentine's Day was a historical event, perhaps, since at least to two people the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was revived and relived.


End file.
